So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
