I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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