Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
