Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
