I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
