I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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