this boner is exhausting
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
