Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
