how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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