But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
