with your own penis?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
