My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
