ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
