New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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