how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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