Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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