thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
