fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
