I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
