Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
