My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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