Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
