there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
