I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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