Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
