so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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