At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
