ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
