he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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