i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
