its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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