also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
