Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
