I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the day after is always just damage control
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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