There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
