I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
