Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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