I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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