There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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