Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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