I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
