Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize