you win again, gameday.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
did i just pee glitter
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
