Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
