My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
be right there i have to get my cape
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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