She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
