return my video game
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
