then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize