Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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