I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
